America’s top ten markets for art collectors:

1. Denver, Colorado
2. Colorado Springs-Pueblo, Colorado
3. Portland, Oregon
4. San Francisco-Oakland-San Jose, California
5. Atlanta, Georgia
6. Mobile-Pensacola (Ft. Walton Beach), Alabama-Florida
7. Memphis, Tennessee
8. Spokane, Washington
9. Seattle-Tacoma, Washington
10. West Palm Beach-Ft. Pierce, Florida

I assume that’s collectors per capita rather the total numbers of collectors in each area or the total amount spent on art purchases. But then, I assume a lot.

[via MediaPost]

I think we all know what this was about:

[A] Chicago car dealer was found in his Bentley with a loaded gun and his pants missing…

When police found him, Bernshtam was apparently trying to cover himself with a sweater because his pants were in the back seat. When asked why he was naked from the waist down, Bernshtam replied that he had just urinated in an alley. Note that this all took place at 11.20 am….

It was then that police noticed a handgun located in the passenger seat side pocket. Bernshtam explained that he needed it for added security when he is transferring large amounts of cash.

[MotorAuthority]

Thank you, exhibitionists of the world, for making Planet Earth more interesting. And sticky.

And Katrina was a tornado, I guess.

Oh, Italy: you’re so adorable when you’re confused.

Advertising Agency: JWT/RMG Connect, Milan, Italy
Executive Creative Director: Daniela Radice
Associate Creative Director & Copywriter: Davide Boscacci
Copywriter: Jack Blanga
Art Director: Giulio Nadotti
Illustrator: Giulio Nadotti

[via Copyranter]

[Nigel Leck] got tired of arguing on Twitter with people who believe climate change is not occurring, so he built a bot that scrapes Twitter for certain strings of words then responds to the author of the offending tweet with a pre-packaged link containing a science-based counter-argument.

The dialog (or should we say rhetoric?) between climate change skeptics and those in the opposite camp is apparently so formulaic that Leck’s bot can carry on an exchange with a real human for dozens of tweets. He hopes to make the auto-debate even more realistic and accurate in the future by parsing data from other climate change debaters on Twitter.

[Mashable]

…apart from “Chastity, get in here!”, of course:

“If you’re not worrying about how to put food on your table, you [should be] worrying about why other people don’t have food on their table.”

[VanityFair via Towleroad]

I hope more people are having those thoughts as they go to the polls today.

Which reminds me: PLEASE VOTE, AMERICA.

So Katy Perry’s video for “Firework” is out. I have some problems with this.

• For starters: “Firework”? Unless we’re talking about a gutter punk working a set of flaming hula-hoops at Burning Man, I have no idea what “firework” is. Like “pants” or “grits”, “firework” is always plural. Why didn’t she just call the song “Scissor”? It would’ve made about as much sense, and as an added bonus, it would’ve fueled some of her admirers’ sexual fantasies.

• Obviously, the “firework” thing sets Perry up for some lyric FAILs. In particular, the chorus of “you’re a firework” sounds weird and grammatically incorrect and more than a little depressing. Like, “You’re a bottle rocket! A measly bottle rocket!” The sad trombone goes wah-wah.

• As if the grammar weren’t bad enough, the video’s director decided to go totes literal by setting people on fire. I know it’s done with CGI, but I can’t stop thinking about Katy Perry in a courtroom, getting sued by a pregnant lady covered in second-degree burns. That said, the image of Katy Perry shooting orgasmic fireworks from her tits like a pop-tart St. Theresa is kind of funny.

• Despite those complaints, I have to admit: girlfriend looks amazing. Her hair and makeup team maybe deserve a Nobel prize, because she looks far less “Hello Kitty Hooker” than usual. Why, she’s practically MILFy.

• I don’t know when this clip was filmed,  but coincidence or not, it sends out a nice message in the wake of all these LGBT teen suicides. Big props for that.

• Too bad the song is terrible: mix two parts gay anthem, one part Coldplay knockoff, and top with a generous serving of lilting sex-yodel. (Britney has the “baby, do me” sex growl, Perry lilts like a milkmaid calling across the valley for her lumberjack hubby to come home NOW. It’s her thing.) Seriously, click play and shut your eyes. See? Um, hear?

I like David Mixner.

He’s smart, he’s driven, and he seems passionate about doing the right thing (whatever that thing may be). But his blog post from yesterday left me cold. Here’s an excerpt:

If the House and Senate fall into Republican Tea Party hands on November 2nd, the LGBT community will be facing the most hostile United States Congress in our history. The election of these bonafide Teabagging wing-nuts could cause chaos, fear and intimidation in our political process. Their ascendancy to power would validate some truly dark and despicable forces operating in American politics. If we think it is hard to achieve equal rights now just try and do it in a Tea Party dominated Congress….

Don’t get me wrong. My faith in the Democrats has not been reborn – however there are many, many allies of the LGBT community who support full equality, including marriage equality, who are in tight races on the ballot. For us to punish them by staying home is inconceivable to me. Why in the world would we abandon our real friends in a time of need?

…This year voting is about protecting sanity in American politics. The last thing you should do is play games with this election by stay home. Unacceptable. Untenable. And unbelievably scary.

[DavidMixner.com]

Hmmm.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat. That’s not solely because of the Dems’ stance on LGBT issues, which has traditionally been more progressive than that of Republicans (though the differences are flattening out). It’s also because I believe in using government money to help others by funding public schools, healthcare, Social Security and other programs.

But Mixner’s argument pisses me off.  It uses the same offensive scare-tactics I see from most GOP and Tea Party candidates. As a longtime political strategist, he should know better.

I mean, sure, I understand that the Tea Party is essentially a big, political euphemism for the Christian Right. They do not please me. I understand the importance of voting, too. And I understand that a GOP-controlled congress would cause many, many problems — not just because their party platform rejects LGBT rights, but because they’ll butt heads with the Obama administration and slow the political process even further.

But Mixner’s fear-mongering is no better than David Vitter’s current TV commercial — which I am watching THIS VERY MOMENT — which says “Barack Obama’s radical agenda is DESTROYING AMERICA.” Hearing a hooker-hiring diaper fetishist get all righteous and indignant is bad enough without Mixner cranking up the volume in the echo chamber.

Bottom line: I don’t do drama very well. When people get shrill, I tune them out. Mixner’s got the right idea, but his message is way off. That’s a damn shame.

Just get out there and VOTE, goddammit.

1. Using a knife to stir my coffee, as I did this morning, because all the clean spoons were still in the dishwasher, and I was lazy and weak and backsliding. Using anything other than a spoon to stir coffee makes me feel like a construction worker, but not in a good way. More like, “I’m covered in drywall and sawdust and I will use anything to stir up this cup of minestrone.” (NB: as much as stirring with a knife grosses me out, a fork is completely unthinkable.)

2. People who misspell “restaurateur”. There’s no “n”. There’s never an “n”.

3. People who misspell “definate”. It’s “definite”, as in precise, limited, not infinite. Does that help?

4. People who use “dominate” instead of “dominant”. One’s a verb, one’s an adjective. You dominate others, but you look for dominant personalities on Manhunt.

5. Giving a sake set as a gift. I’ve been reduced to this on occasion, but it’s terrible. It’s like the slightly hipper equivalent of giving someone a scented candle. It says, “Oh, I don’t know you very well, but I wanted you to think I was kind of worldly. I’m sure you don’t drink sake at home because, really, no one fucking does, but you can probably regift it at the holiday office party.”

6. Feeling my teeth on a paper towel. Worse than nails on a chalkboard.

7. Going barefoot in my house. Because with four dogs around, you’re always going to step on something.

So I’m sitting here transcribing Show Girls, because that’s the basis of our next show, and for reasons that I have yet to fully understand, there’s no copy of the script online. Annoying.

Anyway, I’m typing along, making slow progress, when I remember that YouTube began transcribing videos a while back, and I’ve never made use of the service. Turns out, it’s really more like closed-captioning, so it doesn’t help me directly, BUT OH MY GOD IS IT HILARIOUS.

See for yourself: click here to jump to the clip of Nomi’s first rehearsal. Then click the “CC” button at the bottom of the window and select “transcribe audio”. AMAZING.

So my dearclosepersonalfriend has gotten even skankier. (I mean that in a totally good way.) Precious Moments ought to watch her back if she wants to hold onto the title of “Filthiest Drag Queen Alive”.

http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf