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Anyway: yes, we made it. And so far, so good. Mostly.

Venice was pretty, but it held 0.00% interest for me. It’s old. It’s charming. It’s mysterious. I get it. But then, I live in New Orleans, so I see that schtick every day. Other, less-jaded people in our party would gladly turn right around and spend another week there. Which only goes to show…something.

Other things of note:

  • Venetians really hate to make change. I don’t know why this is so, but if I’m going to buy a flavorless cheese sandwich from some gum-smacking waif in skinny jeans, the least she can do is break a twenty.
  • Americans get a bad rap on the road, but compared to the Russians I’ve seen, we’re a nation of Donna freakin’ Reeds.
  • I do not understand the Italian aversion to ice, leg room, and blow driers, but I can appreciate two of the three.

And now: coffee. Lots of it. Florence awaits. (The city, sadly, not Ms. Henderson. …But OMG how funny would that be if she were here? Could you imagine? Like, you know, The Surviving Bradys and Their Groovy European Smile-Time Variety Hour and Funicular Hoe-Down Holiday? This, people, is when I ask myself, “Why am I not a bazillionaire TV producer with the Swifty Lazar glasses and the murder of Pekingeseseses at my feet?” And the answer: probably because I’m an idiot and because a group of Pekingeseseseses would be a pack, not a murder. But whatever.)

What was I saying? Oh, yes: coffee.

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I don’t like traveling. In fact, I kinda hate it. But why?

1. I don’t like leaving. Seriously, I love our house. I love hanging on the sofa. My life’s pretty full these days, so when I have the chance to do nothing but lay around with the hounds, I’m as happy as a clam. A clam who enjoys spending time with dogs.

2. I don’t like the expense. To be fair, I think that’s pretty weak rationale: it’s always costly to go places, it’s never an especially good time. I could avoid leaving my house for the rest of my life with that lame excuse.

3. I don’t like the work that piles up while I’m gone. By the time I get back to my desk and sort through all the snail mail and email and memos and whatnot, I need a vacation. Surely you see the irony.

4. I don’t like flying. Not that I’m afraid of airplanes and hurtling across the stratosphere at hundreds of miles an hour (though it’s not my fave thing to do). No, I hate the ritual of flying: the lines, the checkpoints, the anxiety of hurrying up and waiting. From dashing to the counter to worrying if you’re going to make it before they shut the cabin doors to zipping down the runway, it’s all so fast and thoroughly unpleasant. One might even say: uncivilized.

5. I can’t see the vacation for the travel. In part because I hate flying so much, I can’t look past that and get excited about the destination. Like, point A is interesting, and point B is interesting, but getting from one to the other is not.

Anyway, all that’s moot because by the time you read this, I’ll be on my way. See you soon.

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Michelle Obama Refuses To Stop Being Charming,

Even For A Moment

On the president and her wardrobe:

“He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.”

She teasingly imitated him: “‘You didn’t need any more shoes. The shoes you had on yesterday were fine. Why can’t you just wear that for the rest of the presidency?'”

—New York Times

Future first ladies, take note: you can totally be a lawyer or a brain surgeon or whatever, but at the end of the day, it’s sassy and down-to-earth that sells.

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I’ve been meaning to post this for weeks: Gallup’s “What Alabamians and Iranians Have in Common”. Among the interesting statistics contained therein…

  • Egypt is the most religious country on the planet.

  • Estonia is the least religious country on the planet.

  • Only 25% of Frenchmen (and Frenchwomen) say that religion plays an important role in their daily lives.

  • In the U.S., Louisiana’s level of religious fervor compares favorably with that of Iraq.

  • The most religious states are almost all in the South. (And then there’s Oklahoma.)

  • The least religious states–like the least religious countries–almost all require parkas in the winter. (And then there’s Nevada.)

Among the countries not surveyed: China, Greenland, Iceland, Israel, and Lebanon. But I’m pretty sure we know where most of those stand.

[Thanks, Tyler]

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Just read: “It amuses me that [Katy Perry’s] shoulders are more cheerful than either of Robert [Pattinson’s] pictures, but she also appears to be threatening me with her vagina. I don’t care for that.” — GoFugYourself

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I must be really tired. You know that guy thing, where you rest your non-penis-holding hand against the wall while you’re peeing? Well, I just leaned forward and put my head there. Zzzzz.

I’m not worried about the sanitary stuff. (I’m never worried about the sanitary stuff.) But I’m definitely concerned about these family-sized eyebags.

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Ladies and gentlemen:

I will admit that Kim Kardashian is hot, and I will admit that she’s especially hot in a bikini. However, I dare anyone–straight or gay–to look at this photo and NOT notice the junk in Reggie Bush’s trunk:


swiped from BestOfNewOrleansBlog

I mean, seriously people.

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This is my sister’s latest video for The Bad Shepherds (the band fronted by Adrian Edmundson, aka Vyvyan from The Young Ones). Obvs, I’m a huge fan of the Clash original, but as usual, Tiff’s animations rock. And the flute break on the song? Genius.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3557588&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=00adef&fullscreen=1
London Calling by The Bad Shepherds from CRAZYGIRL