Untitled (I told my therapist about you)
by Mike Monteiro

How, exactly, did I miss this extremely loud NSFW video? Haven’t I seen all such things by now?

[via my dear friend, the fabulous Brian]

Last night, I was catching up on the week’s stories (too busy to skim them as they happened), and I stumbled across this tiny telling morsel. I am not a huge fan of the one they call Seacrest, but this wins him a point in my book.*

Did Ryan Seacrest, 35, let down the fourth estate — or at least the fashion slice of it — when he failed to ask that question while interviewing many of the arriving celebrities on E!’s pre-Oscar show last Sunday?

Yes, according to the bloggerati, many of whom were dissing him even as the two-hour show “Live from the Red Carpet: The 2010 Academy Awards,” was being broadcast. “Come on, Seacrest, this is important info that we NEED!” whined the bloggers Jocelyn Vena and Lindsay Soll on MTV’s Hollywood Crush site after Mr. Seacrest neglected to dish gown specifics with Anna Kendrick and Mariah Carey….

The fashion designer Nicole Miller said she, too, was disappointed…. “It was almost like he wasn’t that interested in the designers,” Ms. Miller said. “He seemed more interested in the celebrities and their careers.”

[New York Times]

*Just kidding, I don’t keep a book. Who would? My old boss, that’s who. She used to keep a moleskin pad within arms reach everywhere she went. She’d write down appointments, witty phrases, addresses, and, yes, a running tally of people who’d pissed her off. I don’t have the energy or organizational skills to stay mad like that, but I applaud those who do.

I have not always been a fan of New Orleans hotelier and real estate developer Sean Cummings. I won’t go into detail, I’ll just say that he’s won me over in recent months — thanks in no small part to his push to thwart the Port of New Orleans’ plans to install New Orleans Cold Storage’s new, ammonia-filled facility slap-ass next to the French Quarter. And now, he’s turned on the charm again:

At least one supporter has offered to help a lesbian student and her classmates hold an alternate senior prom after her Mississippi school district canceled the dance rather than allow Constance McMillen to take her girlfriend.

New Orleans hotel owner Sean Cummings tells The Clarion-Ledger of Jackson he was so disappointed with the school board’s decision that he offered to transport the students from Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton in buses to the city. He says he would host a free prom at one of his properties.

[MyEyewitnessNews]

That’s a classy move, ladies and gentlemen. And for the cynics, I can almost guarantee that Sean’s not doing this in hopes of glimpsing some girl-on-girlishness.

In other news, I am happy to see that my home state — which never made me feel especially hated as a fag, but it wasn’t exactly welcoming, either — has such outspoken teens. I don’t recall any being quite so bold back in the day.

Quentin Crisp: The First Documentary, 1970

[via Jonno]

So, the transition to WordPress went off with only minor hitches. In fact, I spent more time fiddling with new design’s CSS than dealing with the file import. Go me, go me, etc.

Anyway, if you have my old frontpage bookmarked, take two seconds to change it to the very simple, easy-to-remember: http://www.sturtle.com. If you prefer to use an RSS reader, you’ll find me at http://feeds.feedburner.com/sturtlecom.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to drink like a motherfucker.

For nearly ten years (believe me, I know), I’ve maintained this site using Blogger and its FTP publishing tool, but Blogger has opted to 86 support for FTP as of March 26 May 1. The company is encouraging everyone to migrate to Blogspot, the free, Blogger-hosted service, but I just can’t bring myself to do that — not yet, anyway. And so, I’m going to do what I’ve meant to do for some time: migrate to WordPress.

I am not looking forward to this. However, I’m familiar with WordPress, and I have a passing acquaintance with PHP, and I’ve never had much luck manipulating Blogspot domains, so I’m going to give it a shot. With luck, everything — including my RSS feed — should remain exactly the same, so you won’t need to do anything, really. Just sit tight.

In the meantime, please enjoy Dave Salmoni — awkwardly posed, awkwardly dressed (for Tyra), and, finally, just right:

Some Cheetos are content to sit in their Mylar sacks, waiting to be devoured by the ravenous offspring of militant vegans and by secretaries who suspect (but have no proof) that their co-workers have nominated them for an upcoming season of The Biggest Loser.

Joe was not such a Cheeto. Joe had dreams.

While his friends were off in a crumb-filled corner, passively awaiting their destiny, Joe filled out a membership application to the United Association of Plumbers and Pipefitters. Would he get in? Would his friends accept his life choice? How the hell would he mail the letter? Who could say? Joe only knew that he had to try.