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“How could she not realize that being a jerk to Tim Gunn is a bad idea no matter what? Like … it’s Tim Gunn. America LOVES HIM. WE CAN SEE YOU.”

Have I mentioned lately how much I freakin’ love the Fugs?

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I AM AWAKE AT 5:30AM
AND CUTE GAYBOYS SINGING UKELELE COVERS
OF MADONNA SONGS MAKE UP FOR THE FACT
THAT I HAVE NO COFFEE IN THE HOUSE


via andy

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RELEASED TODAY:
Tempest in Crescent City

Okay, what does that look like to you? A predictably ironic postmodern painting? A wacky dream inspired by a late-night meal at Deanie’s? A panel from Mary Worth? Alas, it’s none of those things. (Though I wouldn’t blame you for guessing Mary Worth.) It is, in fact, a screenshot from a video game–a videogame about Hurricane Katrina.

Called Tempest in Crescent City, it was developed by Global Kids, a nonprofit with a mission of “educating and inspiring urban youth to become successful students as well as global and community leaders.” This marks its second videogame–the first being Ayiti, in which you help a family in Haiti make their way from poverty to prosperity. (I know, right?)

Anyway, in Tempest in Crescent City, you play a teenager trying to find and save your mother before, during, and after the storm. You interact with neighbors, pick up supplies, spread them around, and save people from attics. On its website, Global Kids says it had three goals in developing the game:

  • “Teach players about how everyday residents of New Orleans acted heroically to help each other….”

  • “Emphasize what are perhaps the two most important priorities in any disaster: communication and use of local resources, needs, and knowledge….”

  • “Draw attention to the continuing struggle in New Orleans as residents fight for housing in 2008….”

All of which sounds laudable (maybe), but something still gives me a case of the icks. Being the objective kind of guy I am, though, I tried to put that aside for a second and play the damn thing. Here’s how I graded it, based on four different criteria:

TECHNICAL: A
The game didn’t didn’t make me install any crazy extensions, didn’t resize my browser, and downloaded in about 10 seconds. In that respect, it’s exactly what a Flash game should be.

CONTROLS: A-
Apart from the directional buttons and the space bar, you don’t use much in this game, and it’s all very intuitive. It felt like there ought to be a few “special” options available, but maybe that’s just me and my six-button, two-bumper, two-trigger, 360-loving ways.

GAMEPLAY: B
It’s a side-scroller, so if you’ve ever played Pitfall, you know what you’re getting into. It’s not especially challenging, but it is timed, and there’s some richness in your character’s interaction with the environment that make this game different from others. However, there are definitely some glitches in the game (e.g. I had trouble finding the right spot to jump onto roofs) that make it frustrating at times.

SCENARIO: ?
I have no idea where I stand on this point. On the one hand, I hate parochialism and essentialism; I know we do things a little differently here, but I don’t want to be labeled one of those GET OFFA MY PROPITTY! kind of people who take pride in thinking that “outsiders” can’t possibly understand New Orleans. People move here all the time, same as any other city; some of ’em get it and stick around, others don’t and move on. BFD. So although I believe that New Orleans is far too rich and diverse to be explained in a simple videogame, I don’t have a problem with anyone trying to do that. Hell, they do it to New York all the time.

On the other hand, creating a videogame involving life-and-death consequences–a videogame based on recent, widely known, real-life, tragically life-and-death events–well, that seems a little dodgy. Would Global Kids have created a game based on the September 11 hijackings? Or the Indonesian tsunami of 2004? It all seems a little gray to me. Yes, it raises some valid questions, gets people thinking, but I’m pretty sure that all that talk about videogames being educational is 95% crapola.

* * * * *

UPDATE: Global Kids’ Barry Joseph contacted me yesterday to thank me for writing about Tempest in Crescent City, but also pointed me to this Pew study (PDF), which seems to indicate that in certain circumstances, videogames can, in fact, educate–insofar as they positively influence civic impulses in players. I think that’s pretty cool, although I’m not sure all of those circumstances apply here.

The topic Mr. Joseph didn’t address was his team’s sensitivity to recent, fatal events. That, I think, is what icks me out the most–especially given the game’s earnest tone. Strangely, I might be able to stomach Tempest in Crescent City if it were intentionally crass and rude–you know, Cartman-style. Seeing it done without a trace of irony…well, it’d be laughable, if it weren’t so weird.

Nor did he address another important issue: was anyone in New Orleans consulted about all this? And if so, whom?

I doubt much of this matters to his target demo (i.e. probably kids under 14), but it may, in fact, matter to those kids’ older sibs and parents. I posted a link to the game on my Facebook page yesterday, and the comments were 100% negative. So, you know, take that for what it’s worth.

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Hello, Gays:

Can we talk for a second? It’s about Proposition 8.

Now, I live, like, a bajillion miles from California, and I know there’s, like, a one-in-a-bajillion chance that Louisiana will ever willingly allow gaymarriage. (It’ll take the intervention of the National Guard for that. Assuming they ever come back from Iraq.) But obviously, I’m 100% against Prop 8. Defeating it is important to everyone–gay and straight–and will bring America one step closer to the inevitable passage of nationwide legal rights for GLBT couples.

However, I have to say, I’m kinda on the fence about this:

I mean, yes, everyone needs to work really hard to defeat the amendment, and yes, viral videos are a cheap and easy way to spread the word, but I dunno… This particular spot feels a little underwhelming.

Commercials are not lectures: they have to make a visceral connection with viewers. But apart from the (overworked) Mac/PC gag, I don’t remember anything about this piece. The actors spout a lot of facts, but where’s the emotional appeal? I’m not asking for an hysterical Sally Struthers, “Please think of the children” pitch, but this feels really flat–almost like a waste of time. Or like you could’ve spent your time in a better way.

I don’t have any commercials of my own to add, so I guess I don’t have any right to bitch. But I have a sneaking suspicion that this isn’t going to tip the odds in our favor. If it’s true, as Susan Sontag said, that “[h]omosexuals have pinned their integration into society on promoting the aesthetic sense”, we lost an opportunity to leverage our aesthetic sensibilities for political gain. And if our over-zealous brethren keep beating up Prop 8 proponents, we’re going to need a LOT of those opportunities in the next few weeks.

Sorry to harsh your buzz, and thanks for your consideration.

xoxo/Richard

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THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE

1. A film about babies, playing in a field full of kittens, all of whom are zombies. (The babies and the kittens.) This film does not yet exist, but the thought of making it is amusing.

2. Bunny rabbits–specifically, giant knitted bunny rabbits seen from an airplane:

3. Dave’s post from yesterday, which included this line:

…suddenly John McCain’s face appears on the TV screen and my patient lets out this exasperated sigh and says, “Oh lord, what is that she-male going on about now?”

4. This hot, sexy, totally informative interview with Hunky McBoytoy, aka Sean Avery, who’s just relocated to Dallas. I’m not planning to go to any hockey games (um, ew), but it makes the stalking commute much easier:

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/player.swf?mediaId=3632996

5. Artificial foreskin:

6. The vaguely outrageous, thoroughly offensive, undeniably awesome-looking videogame Bonetown, which is essentially an interactive porn film. Sadly, it looks to be 100% hetero, but surely one of you lovely coders can build a patch or something, right? Anyway, here’s the trailer, and below it, a screenshot from the demo version. Note: IF YOU ARE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO THINK THAT THE TRAILER FOR A PORNO/VIDEO GAME IS NOT LOUD AND OBSCENE, YOU ARE VERY FOOLISH. Sensitive bunnies would be wise to stay out of Mr. McGregor’s garden. You have been warned:

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I am not a music snob. However: I am concerned about the rise of Katy Perry. Here is why:

For one, her voice is pretty crappy.

For two, her follow-up single bites.

For three, she put out an album of Christian music a couple of years before she and her formidable publicity machine conquered the hearts of Teenage America. Which is kind of weak in an Amy Grant, omigod I totally wanna be a pop star but I can’t break in so I guess I’ll sing about god and go on a diet, oh look I made the cover of People, see ya god sort of way.

Also: there are FORMAL HOTPANTS involved.

Now for the record, I could not possibly care less whether her lyrics or her mother are homophobic. (In fact, many of The Gays adore her.) And I am 100% in lust with the bass line for “I Kissed a Girl”–it’s magnificent and far ahead of its time. And I suppose every generation needs its Martika.

But honestly people, the line has to be drawn somewhere–and fast. The financial markets are crashing, half the world is at war, and my cafe au lait with soy has just reached room temperature: what more proof do you need that these are the End Times and Katy Perry is the Half-Naked Horselady of the Apocalypse? Please think of the children. Depose her now.

While you folks dig up the Chosen One, I’m going to sit here and refresh my eardrums by sorting through the cool kids’ playlist.*

* Michael Kors not included. Srsly.

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I adore my mother.

Let me clarify: I adore both my mothers. But I have to say, my adoptive mom–the one who raised me–she was very sweet and loving and kind, but she was also very much a product of her time and place. Which is to say that like many Mississippi women of the 60s/70s, she played the role of dutiful wife and mother to a tee. Sure she could be feisty at times, and in her own way, I guess she gave society the finger, but she was awfully quiet about it.

My biological mother? Not so much:

Callie isn’t especially happy with that photo, and I admit that it doesn’t do her justice, but that’s almost beside the point. To me, a shot of Callie preparing to read Ginsberg’s “Howl” in honor of Banned Books Week kinda sums her up: behind the podium and the cardigan and the librarian accouterments lies a woman who should be taken VERY SERIOUSLY.

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Completely Unrelated To Anything

I’m kinda in love with this video:


RJD2’s “Work It Out” [download here], directed by Joey Garfield

Maybe because it reminds me of this video, which would look pretty awesome if YouTube had properly converted it:


Kylie Minogue’s “Come Into My World” [download here]

But mostly because that took some balls, yo. Plus, it’s hot. And the guy is totes adorbs.

P.S. Though gay, I don’t normally make a habit of going on about Kylie Minogue videos. Nothing against her–she’s a right-on sister, a cancer survivor. I just don’t, that’s all.