Well, at least it appears that way.
He could be scratching or readjusting or just letting his hand rest where it may. Or perhaps he was thinking about his beloved Big Penis Book, got an inappropriate, involuntary reaction, and had to hide something, just like when you were called up to the chalkboard in 8th grade algebra class.
Do kids still get called up to the chalkboard? Do they even know what chalk is? Oh, for simpler, chalk-and-erection-filled days.
Maybe you remember it: about a year and a half ago, Bush fils offered Chrysler its first round of bailout dough, and many Americans weren’t happy about it. Of course, more often than not, those folks were technically “Merikens”, who somehow managed to blame Obama for the governmental support, but that’s neither here nor there.
To smooth things over, Chrysler decided that it would take out giant-sized ads in the Wall Street Journal and USA Today, which are, incidentally, the newspapers of record for Merikens. Written out in ginormous, respectable, authoritative serifs were the words “THANK YOU AMERICA”, followed by some smaller-point tripe about what folks in the good ol’ USofA could expect from their comrades in Auburn Hills.
Problem is, the ads only made people angrier — not only because of the missing direct-address comma in the copy (which was maddening enough), but also because the bajillions of dollars that Chrysler spent to run those ads could’ve probably been put to better use. Like, say, developing cars that might actually sell so that Chrysler wouldn’t need to borrow cash from the feds in the future.
What Chrysler had forgotten was the all-important Mean Girls Rule: Sometimes, Bitches Just Be Hatin’. In non-playground parlance: every so often, people want to vilify you. In fact, they need to vilify you, whether it’s for legitimate reasons (you stole their money/man/job) or illegitimate reasons (you chose the same theme for your Twitter page). At the time, Chrysler was a punching bag, and anything the company did or said was twisted around to make matters worse. It just needed to sit quietly and take its licks.
And now, BP.
These two ads ran in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal (top) and New York Times (bottom), which are, incidentally, the newspapers of record for a divided America. Take a good look and read that copy.
Are you snarking yet?
Tony, Tony, Tony, if you’re listening, please take some unsolicited advice:
1) Skip the feelgood branding ads. I’m sure your gas station franchisees appreciate the effort, but it’s a waste of money right now.
2) Perhaps you should take the dough you’d spend on such ads — how much is that? $50,000? $100,000? — and build a berm or two. Or put it in reserve. Or better yet, retain some more attorneys. Because you are going to be sued nine ways to Sunday by every person, place, and thing along the Gulf. Probably including Cuba. I’d wish you good luck, but I, like the bitches, be hatin’.
[via Copyranter]
Yes, it’s an ad for socks. And it ran in Turkey.
Personally, I prefer my Turks oilier and fuzzier, but TBWA wins points for effective use of scrotal area.
Advertising Agency: TBWA/Istanbul, Turkey
Executive Creative Director: Ilkay Gurpinar
Creative Director: Emre Kaplan
Copywriter: Kerim Gursel
Art Director: Sukran Genc
Photographer: Emre Dogru
Illustrators: Erol Gunes, Erdal Demir
Account Supervisor: Aslı Ceren Aksak
Published: April 2010
Earlier, I mentioned the mild mental paralysis that the BP oil leak has inflicted on me. (Soon to be followed by mild physical paralysis, I’m sure, if the wind keeps whipping those fumes up from the Gulf.) From my writing, you might think that I’d given up on the disaster and tuned the whole thing out, but not so. Or well, not entirely.
I’m as furious as everyone else in New Orleans, but I tend to make my statement in my own way. I reblog. I retweet. I trash talk. And yesterday, I installed Jess3’s Black Oil Firefox plugin, which covers every online mention of “BP” or “British Petroleum” with a black, inky smudge. (Future versions will allegedly do even niftier stuff like grayscaling BP websites: that’ll show ’em.)
Admittedly, the plugin doesn’t do much for real journalists digging up dirt — and mud and oil and sound bytes — but for overwhelmed wusses like me, it’s a way to feel like we’re doing something subversive while doing absolutely nothing at all.
[Mashable]
Is it in poor taste to call the BP oil leak “draining”? Maybe. But it is — moreso than Katrina, I think.
True, there are a number of similarities between the two: both Katrina and the BP oil leak are man-made disasters, and both have brought out some journalists’ Calvinist disdain for our city and its economy of entertainment. But at heart, the two are very, very different.
At least with Katrina, we felt a small sense of empowerment. In the absence of leadership from City Hall, we took matters into our own hands. If something was wrong in our neighborhood, we called up some friends, and they called two friends, and so on, and so on, until Richard Angelico showed up and the problem was fixed.
But unlike the fallen trees, downed power lines, and black mold that followed the storm, the BP oil leak isn’t right here in our neighborhood. Furthermore, we’re powerless to do much about it except protest and, if we have time, volunteer for cleanup duty. Worse, the BP disaster is ongoing, with no end in sight. At least Katrina had the decency to move on after 12 hours or so.
That may explain why I haven’t talked much about it here. Other sources are doing a great job of covering the BP/Deepwater Horizon disaster and the various fucktardian responses to it, and I don’t think adding my two cents would be worth a nickel.
This was Jeremy Piven over the Memorial Day holiday, chilling on the beach in Malibu:
And this is Jeremy Piven in a completely different situation — possibly from Entourage, but I don’t know, because Entourage is another one of those things I’ve never bothered to bittorrent:
Which raises the question: why would a sensible guy with a fairly good physique order a full-body wax (especially now that hirsute men are in vogue), and tan himself to a color that falls somewhere between “traffic cone” and “Donatella Versace“?
Which raises the answer: a sensible guy wouldn’t; therefore, Piven is senseless.
Word to the unwise: body hair is the friend of the middle-aged man.
[Memorial Day monstrosity via SocialiteLife]
Maybe it’s because I’ve been at this a while — and by “this”, I mean “kissing boys” — but I have a hard time looking at a pink triangle and seeing anything other than a symbol for gay rights. But then, I’m not Danish or a woman, and maybe if I were a Danish woman this ad would be slightly less confusing:
Apparently, it’s an ad for a website for ladies — a no-boys-allowed space where womenfolk can talk about Euclid and their ovaries and hypotenuseseseses away from the prying eyes of penis-owners. Frankly, I thought Orkut was doing a fine job of that, but what do I know?
Thanks for confusing me again, Denmark. First, you salt the goddamn licorice (and call it SPUNK), and now this. Great.
Ad credits:
“Geometry? Waxing? GirlTalk.dk – Talk about all your issues”
Advertising Agency: DDB, Copenhagen, Denmark
Creative Director: Jesper Schmidt
Art Directors: Martin Jørgensen, Bue P. Peitersen
Copywriters: Bue P. Peitersen, Martin Jørgensen
DTP: Lasse Salling
Published: March 2010
As a Leo, I’m supposed to crave attention. I don’t, really, but I do like being appreciated. And if that appreciation should come in the form of a spam comment written by a non-native English-speaking spammer, or possibly Google Translate, who am I to judge?
Hi:
Every one on internet searches for really cool content. Its very unfortunate with most of the websites published posts that are boring and out of context articles, just to show that new material is being published. Contrary to that immoral practice, this article is a really cool-written article.
FYI, that was a comment on Tuesday’s Lindsay-Lohan-in-court post, which was not written, much less “cool-written”. So yeah, spam, but I can live with that.
Another little something for your holiday weekend road trip:
1: alphabet st. – prince
2: party shuffle – atom heart
3: cruel intentions (maurice fulton remix) – simian mobile disco
4: robotic hypnotic adventure – neurotic drum band
5: where’s the tape? – triangle orchestra
6: feel the love – azucar
7: open up – jazz n groove
8: house of love (more / phearce mix) – smooth touch
9: can you forgive her? (MK remix) – pet shop boys
10: will be mine (arto mwambe mix) – manuel tur ft. alexander east
11: off the beaten track (carmel mix) – quantic
12: dance sucker (francois k mix) – set the tone
13: house girl (serge & tyrell edit) – rodney bakerr ft. mystic
14: rapture (vector lovers remix) – my robot friend
15: holding the moth (audiojack dub) – underworld
16: bathroom gurgle (tomski fredboys tartlet remix) – late of the pier
17: raised by snakes (shake mix) – telex
18: bees – tanlines
19: raquel – neon neon
20: the glamorous life – sheila e
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