Ronald Firbank was a standout in the field of English eccentrics. He made the Sitwells look about as outrageous as the cast of Family Ties. He came from a ridonkulously wealthy family, bailed on college before finishing his degree, traipsed through Europe and Northern Africa frittering away his inheritance, and, at the age of 41, he died of lung disease in Rome, as all good eccentrics ought to do. Many critics considered his work piffle (yes: piffle), but E. M. Forster and Evelyn Waugh adored him, and since Waugh is responsible for one of the most gorgeous, sublime novels of all time, I suppose we can trust him.

Here’s the opening paragraph of Firbank’s best-known work, The Flower Beneath the Foot: Being a Record of the Early Life of St. Laura de Nazianzi. Jonno can recite this by heart:

Neither her Gaudiness the Mistress of the Robes, or her Dreaminess the Queen were feeling quite themselves. In the Palace all was speculation. Would they be able to attend the Fetes in honor of King Jotifa, and Queen Thleeanouhee of the Land of Dates?-Court opinion seemed largely divided. Countess Medusa Rappa, a woman easily disturbable, was prepared to wager what the Countess of Tolga liked (she knew), that another week would find the Court shivering beneath the vaulted domes of the Summer-Palace.

…and by “Base” I mean “Fanbears”.

Don’t get me wrong: most of the men? Totally workable. Knee socks? Count me in. But tighty whiteys are never on my to-do list.

Then again, this was chain-tweeted by the hipster bears at Butt, so you know, consider the source.

[via TheAwl]

I admit that the trend toward Lady Gaga/Beyonce YouTube homages is getting a little stale (okay, a lot stale), but c’mon: JUSTICE GAGA? *swoons*

Easily, one of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen, in spite of the absence of a script, or more likely, because of it.

[h/t Phil]

Someone’s wonked Google Earth to place a blob the size and shape of the BP oil spill over any portion of Planet Earth. Here’s how it compares to the New Orleans metro area:

Try it yourself. It’s a great sobering way to start the work week.

[via Towleroad]

[via Jonno]

1. Sparky (née Ultrasparky) has launched a website for his beautiful objet/magazine, Pink Mince. Issue #4 is titled “Your Dad Was Hot!”, and for a mere £4, it’s all yours, baby. Buy in bulk.

2. My pal and erstwhile theatre buddy, James “Jim” Meredith (not that James Meredith, obvs), has written a book in-between flights. He’s a steward for JetBlue, or in their kooky, gender-neutral lingo, an Inflight Crewmember. Anyway, the book is called Will Wadsworth’s Train to Nowhere, and it’s due out this month. I haven’t read any of it, but I’m sure it’s about 3,047% better than the self-help-o-rama being “penned” by Nomi Malone. Lots more info chez Bigezbear.

3. I have a new post up on Lurid Digs, which is ENTIRELY NSFW. In it, I debate the existence of god, twins, and ex-gays, but mostly Lava Lamp nightstands.

4. I’ve asked you before if you’re following Tamishir on Flickr, haven’t I? I’m pretty sure I have. Did you listen? Because he’s still motherhumpin’ brilliant:

I’ve mentioned before that I contribute to the Human Rights Campaign. I know a lot of people have issues with the HRC, and in fairness, the org isn’t as edgy as it used to be — though also in fairness, “aggro” has never really been the HRC’s style. Some of my friends rag on me for giving to an advocacy group that seems to move slowly and to be slightly out of touch with the desires of many LGBT Americans. “Foot-dragging A-listers”, they call them.

But I’ve always found the Dr. King approach more politically expeditious than that of Mr. X. And given my limited experience with lobbying and backdoor politics (watch it), I’m pretty comfortable with the HRC’s tactics. In fact, I’m pleasantly surprised by their accomplishments.

Even more importantly, to my friends who sneer at me for giving a few bucks a month to the largest LGBT advocacy org in America, I ask: what the fuck are you doing for us? Are you staging advocacy days at the capitol? Attending sit-ins? Giving your hard-earned dough to another LGBT group? Hell, are you people even writing your legislators?

That said, I do have some concerns with HRC, and I’m considering scaling back my contribution. Not because of the way they’ve responded to DADT or this veterans thing, but because of the HRC’s reliance on terrible stock photography:

Look at that. Are they LGBT lobbyists or dental hygienists? I really can’t tell.

HRC, can we please get a little gay design pride up in this bitch?

Being cuckolded was bad enough, but seeing that the bastard was one of Jacqueline’s 11 brothers made Jean-Paul lose his appetite for the vomit already welling up inside his stomach.

Advertising Agency: Prolam Y&R, Santiago, Chile
Executive Creative Director: Tony Sarroca
Creative Director: Alvaro Becker
Art Directors: Andres Echeverria, Cristian Costa
Copywriter: Tomas Cisternas
Photographer: Patricio Pescetto
Illustrator: Ricardo Salamanca
Account manager: Pancho Cardemil

Are you going to be in San Francisco tonight? Then get the hell out of the house/hotel/Happy Ending Spa and roll over to Cafe du Nord (2170 Market Street). Dear closepersonalfriends the Ex-Boyfriends are having a record release party for their new album, Line In/Line Out, which they’re dropping digitally (duh, they’re in SF) and also on old-skool vinyl (duh, they’re in SF), but not on CD, because, um, eww.

But wait, there’s more: not only do the Ex-Bfs put on a great show, but there’ll also be three other bands rocking the stage: The Bruises, The Shondes, and Excuses for Skipping — none of whom I know personally, but any friend of the Ex-Boyfriends is a friend of mine. (That’s something I’ve said in my everyday life, too: I don’t believe in cutting off ties to anyone who’s has his/her tongue on my genitals, even if they do leave the cap off the toothpaste.)

But enough about my nads. Doors open at 8pm, and the show starts at 9pm. There’s a $10 cover, which is possibly the best deal in town for seeing four rockin’ bands on one stage, so what more do you want, cheapskate? For you need-to-know types, there’s way more info at the Ex-BF website.