Garland Robinette: “you don’t want gay marriage, because you don’t like gays”

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If you don’t live in New Orleans, the name Garland Robinette may not mean much to you. But here, he’s a fixture: a media veteran, a BMOC, a bigmouth. Although he’s anchored TV newscasts and was once married to New Orleans’ legendary Angela Hill, he now spends his time lording over local talk radio.

Now, talk radio is not exactly the most liberal planet in the modern media universe, but Garland is smarter than many on the airwaves, and his approach is compassionate and common-sensible. (Yes, I am aware that Limbaugh and Palin also fly the common sense flag whenever possible, but I think they’re being ironic.) Today, Garland published a piece on gay marriage, and apart from the fact that his keyboard seems a little sticky (minds out of the gutter, people), I’m pretty impressed.

I have one opinion on the gay rights controversy, and I know my opinion is correct, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Those of you actively fighting against gay marriage have waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands.
I don’t believe your real reason for fighting gay marriage is because you are sooooooooooooooo concerned about the threat to the institute of marriage. If you were, you’d be protesting people like me. I have been married three times. Elizabeth Taylor and me are the biggest threats ever faced by the sacred institute of marriage.
Let’s not be a hypocrite…you don’t want gay marriage, because you don’t like gays. It’s that simple. You’re frightened by those icky things they do with their sexual parts. But, here’s another hypocritical part…have you ever seen what them-thar “heterosexuals” do with their private parts? Whoa, talk about icky!!!!!

[more at WWL]

Have those same arguments been made by other straight guys? Sure, but on talk radio? In New Orleans, Louisiana? Hmmm. Maybe not.

Jennifer Love Hewitt vajazzercizes daily

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[Jennifer Love Hewitt] said: “After a break-up, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystaled my ‘precious lady’… I was feeling awful, I’d been through a horrible break up. I was like, ‘Ah, this is awful and I need something to make me feel better.’ It was the one thing I’d never tried before after a break-up, so I gave it a try. It’s great. It’s cute, it’s cute.

“It really helped me. It looks like a little disco ball down there it’s great. Really.”

However, the 30-year-old beauty took to the design so much, she makes sure she is “vagazzled” at all times.

She admitted: “I am currently ‘vagazzled’. And it’s hot pink for today, so that’s good. I’ve had no complaints about it”

[via TVNZ]

Feel free to check the video from whence that [vaguely inaccurate transription] comes, but be aware that her shoes are TERRIBLE. And she is being interviewed by GEORGE FUCKING LOPEZ. You have been warned.

Weirdest song of the day

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On my way to work, I walk by a hospice for people living with AIDS (one of two in the neighborhood). And as I passed this morning, I heard a woman singing in the courtyard, invisible behind a thick hedge. Her song was short — just one sentence on infinite repeat:

Y’all got nothing but sorrow,
But we have AIDS.

At the time, I wasn’t sure how to take that. And frankly, I’m still not sure. But it made me stop, and in a week like this, that’s kind of an amazing feat.