This is Pete Burns. Remember, from Dead or Alive?

Much has been made of Burns’ love affair with plastic surgery — in fact Pete himself complained about it in court and received a tidy sum in return.

But despite all that, despite the critics and Burns’ own grumblings, it looks like he’s still going full-silicone-ahead.

And you know what? Rock on sister.

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Last week, I stumbled across a nude photo of OJ Simpson.

It was taken decades ago, back when he was still playing football and doing TV commercials and not stabbing people and trying on men’s accessories for juries of peers. (Sorry: allegedly stabbing people.)

I’d seen the nude shot before and wanted to use it for a post, but I wasn’t sure how to frame it. Could I have just uploaded the pic to Tumblr and gone to bed? Probably, but I wanted to make more of it. So naturally, I developed a half-baked theory.

The theory was this: people who pose nude stand a better chance of being acquitted.

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Last week, tweets were flying over a not-so-clandestine meet-up between director Gus Van Sant, screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, and actor Taylor Lautner. Since the three were spotted leaving an LA eatery on Wednesday night, there’s been plenty of rumor and speculation about what the three might’ve been up to (apart from not eating).

If the gossip mongers had just asked me, though, I would’ve been happy to tell them. By which I mean, offer some guesses about the topic of discussion:

1. A sequel to My Own Private Idaho. (Working title: My Own Gated Community in Southwestern Boise.) Katherine Keener and Patricia Clarkson play MILFs fighting for control of the neighborhood association. Lautner teaches them heartfelt lessons about life, love, and the perfect pot brownie. Then he kills them.

2. The inevitable Sad Keanu movie, in which Lautner would serve as stunt-double.

3. Robert Pattinson: is he really as nice as people say?

4. Who’s going to be mayor of Millions of Milkshakes?

5. Who’s got invites to Google+? And is it “Google+” or “Google Plus”?

6. How to kill skinny jeans once and for all without causing the return of Z. Cavariccis. (Yes, they’re still here.)

7. Amway.

Of course, it’s possible that Lautner has simply been drafted for the staged reading of Prop 8 transcripts that’s being put together by Mr. Black. Which would be fine, but far less interesting than Amway, IMHO.

In my humble opinion, ladies and gentlemen, we have been deprived of Ed Norton for too long. We have shunned him, and it is time to right past wrongs.

Did he skirt the fringes of douchebaggery early in his career? He certainly did. Did he skim the accretion disk surrounding the black hole of Courtney Love? You betcha. But Norton persevered, emerging as an actor’s actor.

Over the past decade or so, he’s had a few more stumbles. Keeping the Faith. The Incredible Hulk. And of course, Death to Smoochy, which was like watching Paris Hilton cover your testicles in chalkboard paint, then letting her scrape her fingernails across them for an hour and a half while she belts out her rendition of “I’ve Got the Music in Me”. That may sound like a party to some of you, but you are in the minority.

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A quick apology to anyone who might’ve tried to stop by yesterday. I decided I’d get all fancy and switch to a new webhost, and in doing so, I managed to flub the WordPress install/import big time. Ugh, Tuesdays.

I still plan on going through with the change — that is, if I don’t give up on self-hosting altogether and move to WordPress.com. But just between you and me, I think I’m too much of a nerd for that. (See photo for proof.)

By way of apology, here’s a photo of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall eating an ice cream cone:

Straight men, I gotta know: does that do anything for you?

Weird: a few days ago, I posted a Hyundai ad that featured a lesbian plotline. At first, I found it confusing — not because the narrative was convoluted, but because Hyundai is one of the world’s few automakers that’s not gay-friendly. (Nor is its sister, Kia, FWIW.)  But as I said at the time, the spot was built by a Canadian firm, so I thought that maybe Hyundai was just being culturally sensitive — you know, since marriage equality is the law of the land in the Great White North.

A reader by the name of Anthony who lives in Vancouver was kind enough to verify that yes, the clip in question ran on Canadian TV, nixing any thoughts I’d had that it might’ve been a student ad or other mock-up. So could Hyundai be on the road to change?

A few days later, AdWeek posted a rundown of “The 50 Gayest Ads Ever” (whatever that’s supposed to mean). And when I finally got around to skimming the piece, I noticed that in the middle of all the double-entendres and psych-outs (you know: like that Doritos Super Bowl ad from earlier this year) was another Hyundai ad.

This time, Hyundai’s ad hails from Sweden, where same-sex marriage is also legal (though technically, the clip dates from 2006, three years before marriage equality was enshrined in Swedish law). And just like the Canadian ad, it feels, well, disappointing. Have a look:

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